What comes to mind when you think of Emotional Intelligence(EI)? It involves understanding and managing your own emotions and those of the people around you.
Emotional intelligence is essential for success. In this episode, we look at EI quotes, key components of EI, IQ versus EI, and the biggest determinant of a high EQ. Besides, is it better to be street or book smart, and why do successful people have high emotional intelligence? Tune in to find out more!
Quotes on Emotional Intelligence
- I can not offend you. Only you can offend yourself. This is how the brain works. I might be the catalyst, I say something, and you have thought about what I say, and that thought creates a feeling. If you’re training the culture of you can offend me, and I can offend you, then we are training them to be victims. You have no control over your emotions. Someone else on a screen controls how I feel. Suppose you believe that you have no chance of succeeding in life. Never allow someone to get into your emotions.
- Between stimulus and response, there is a space, and in that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies growth and freedom. You can be emotionally triggered by what everyone says, but you have to control your response.
- When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic but with creatures of emotions. People are emotional beings. They might say or do things that make us sad in certain ways.
Five Core Pieces of Emotional Intelligence
- Self-awareness-Emotional intelligence starts by deeply understanding your own emotions.
- Self-regulation- Managing your emotions and keeping yourself in situations you know you will behave correctly.
- Intrinsic Motivation- How do you manage your emotions and use them to achieve your goals?
- Empathy- Once you control your emotions, you can understand other people’s emotions. What makes them sad or angry, their body language and tonal voice.
- Social skills- Once you understand other people’s emotions, you can influence them and build strong relationships.
IQ Versus EQ
Intelligence Quotient(IQ) is a good protector of who will do good in school. At the same time, Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is a good protector of who will be more successful and happier in life.
Why are people with higher EQ more successful than people with higher IQ?
More self-aware leaders tend to be more vulnerable and have a good idea of the company’s culture. Besides, they understand their employees and can easily have conversations with them.
Understanding employees or people around you, making them the best version of themselves, and promoting them makes you a leader. Once you do things while interested in people, they trust you, and you start influencing them. However, this is not limited to professionals but also in personal life.
EQ is all about relationships with yourself and other people. If you look at the number one indicator of happiness in any area, money, family, it’s all about relationships.
“ The strength of your relationship dictates the level of happiness and fulfillment you will achieve.”
Street Smart Versus Book Smart
Sometimes you get to meet successful and influential entrepreneurs who didn’t even go to school or didn’t do well. However, you wonder why they have a lot of influence, good relationships, and people like them. It’s not all about being book smart where you sit, learn and repeat it back but being street smart.
You need critical thinking skills, build relationships, and influence people. Understanding
the bounds of both are the best thing.
Feedback
Feedback is the highest determinant of emotional intelligence. How often do you get feedback from your close circle? When you work with clients, always ask for feedback.
“Where do you think I can improve to give more value? How can I get better?
Gaining feedback from your clients is the easiest way to learn how to get better. Once you get their feedback, make an immediate change.
How do you avoid fake Feedback?
While getting feedback, we always want people to be real about our shortcomings. However, some may fear criticizing your work and giving genuine feedback. You can avoid this by repositioning how you ask for feedback.
“The person who was in this role before, what are some of the things you liked they did. Then compare that to what you are doing.”
Vulnerability and Owning up
Sometimes you may find it hard to be vulnerable due to ego or imposter syndrome. Always own up to your fuck up. If you have not delivered what you promised, accept that you have not done it and give your deadline. Once you become vulnerable, it builds up trust with your clients.
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